So, this isn't perfect. Definitely not finished yet. But I just thought what the hell. This is the first possible short story I will work on for my english assignment. Read it, then comment or not. But don't hate on me, guys!
“Listen to me, everything’s going to be fine. I’ll be waiting for you when you get out of surgery. I promise. I’m not going anywhere,” Lucas told me in his last desperate attempts to get me to calm down.
“I’m scared. I don’t want to die yet. We still have our future together. We were going to travel, get married, have a family…” I replied more scared than I had ever been before.
“Amelia! Stop. You’re not going to die. They’ll take the tumour out and then everything can go back to normal.”
I’m sorry, Lucas. I just want all this to go away.”
“Excuse me? We’re ready for you now. Please say your goodbyes and then we’ll take you up to theatre.”
“Remember, I’ll be holding your hand when you wake up,” he smiled at me reassuringly.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
I remember that day so clearly. You see, the tumour was growing on my brain. Pressing against the part that controls memory and dreams. For some reason, all that I was dreaming about were zombies. The zombie apocalypse, zombie movies, zombie TV shows. Anything that had to do with zombies, I had dreamt about it. The doctors told me this was happening because of where the tumour was situated. Apparently it was right against the part of my memory where all the zombie stuff I had seen had been collected. Hence the dreams. They said that if they removed it, the dreams would stop and I believed them. I had no idea how wrong I was.
“Lucas?”
“Hey, how are you feeling?”
“Like absolute shit, you dick.”
“Haha, I love it when you get angry. It turns me on.”
“Shut up, Lucas! Oh, Jesus, my head hurts.”
“I wonder why? What a mystery we have here.”
“Argh! You’re so frustrating sometimes!”
“Listen, I’m going home for a sleep. It’s late and I only planned on staying until you woke up.”
“Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Bright and early!”
That night, I had another dream. A zombie dream. I remember I woke up in a sweat and I had the worst headache of my life. It happened for a week straight. More and more dreams, every single one was different. That’s when I realised something wasn’t right. I didn’t tell Lucas. I knew what he would say. When it was finally time for me to go home, I couldn’t. I needed more treatment. The tumour was still there. They must have missed something, I was sure of it. So I asked to talk to the doctor. He said that they had definitely gotten it all. They ran follow up tests. Everything came back clear. Yet I continued to have these dreams and they were becoming worse every time. I had no choice. They had been convinced that I was fine. I had no reason to stay in hospital. A year went by after that and the dreams kept coming. It was getting to crazy to ignore now. I had to tell Lucas.
“C’mon babe, let’s go out tonight, yeah?”
“I’m really not in the mood.”
“You’re never in the mood for anything anymore. Not even…”
“Not even what?”
“SEX! Anything fun really. You don’t even play COD with me anymore… Amelia, you’re miserable all the time. You never talk to me. I think when they removed that tumour they accidently took out all the fun in you as well.
“Lucas, I have to tell you something.”
“The real Amelia died in surgery and they’ve replaced you with an alien shape shifter? HA! So that’s why we don’t do it anymore! You’re actually an alien, with weird alien… bits.
“LUCAS! I’m trying to be serious right now. Can you please listen to me?
“Fine, sorry.”
“I think there’s something wrong. You know the dreams I kept having? The zombie ones? Well, they never stopped. After the surgery I kept on having them. They’re getting weirder and I’m having them nearly every night of the week.”
“Oh. Shit. You know, that’s bad. That’s really bad. I looked up something about recurring dreams once. I remember someone said that all their dreams ended up being premonitions. The stuff that happened in them, it came true.”
“WHAT? Do you mean to tell me that I can see into the future? Wait…turn on the TV.
“Why?”
“Just do it. Put the news on.”
Breaking news read across the screen in giant red letters.
“…And what happened to you young man?”
“Well, I was just minding my own business having a look around the store. I thought it was a bit weird that there was no one around on a Saturday morning, but I figured it was kinda early so I just ignored it. Then all of a sudden I hear this screaming and moaning coming from around the corner. I look to see what it was and there’s this guy covered in blood and shit chowing down on some chicks arm!”
“My god, that must’ve been horrifying!”
“I took off outta that store like a bullet. I don’t think I’ve ever run faster in my life!”
“Oh my god…”
“Holy shit.”
“I saw this happen last night.
“Are you kidding? Seriously Amy, don’t stuff around with me.”
“I’m not! I swear! All those military tanks in the background. The army was there. It’s happening.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?!”
“The fucking apocalypse, Lucas!” It’s started!”
It's brilliant, well written and even the use of first person (which is usually tricky) is well done. One teeny problem though, Just this, is 907 words, and it's only a orientation.
ReplyDeleteSo the story would be around 2500 words.
And the word limit for the English short story is 700-800.
So, probably not for English? But please, keep working on this, it's brilliant. And it has that cheesy plotline that every zombie movie has.
Thanks heaps, Tyler :D I wasn't too sure about how it would sound. Also, I know that it's over the word limit, but this is what I was planning on handing in. The plotline was just going to be her finding out that the tumour wasn't causing the dreams, it was her seeing into the future and then we find out that the apocalypse is about to happen. However, I was still planning on continuing it for my own sake.
ReplyDeleteHm, I wouldn't hand this in.
ReplyDeleteHaving her find out the apocalypse is real isn't really a great ending, You are allowed to leave it hanging in the air like that, but this doesn't even have a real if only minor conclusion.
The Idea is sound, but I think you would have to tweak it so the problem (the tumour) is more interesting, because that is the only thing that got resolved. This story seems more based around the apocalypse then her actual "power".